Just Go Ahead, Now
by 1JennyFan
Summary: Kurt proposes to Blaine. This is supposed to be one of the happiest times of their lives. So why is Blaine so unsure about it? Title from "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors. A collab fic with erikabeebee.


**Title:** Just Go Ahead, Now  
><strong>Authors:<strong> 1jennyfan and erikabeebee (a collab! :D)  
><strong>Beta: <strong>gameboycolor  
><strong>Rating:<strong> PG-13  
><strong>Summary: <strong>Kurt proposes to Blaine. This is supposed to be one of the happiest times of their lives. So why is Blaine so unsure about it? Title from "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors.  
><strong>Wordcount:<strong> 3,421  
><strong>Disclaimer: We don't own Glee. Please don't sue. Erika only gets a $20 allowance and Courtney only makes $8 a hour.<strong>

1jennyfan's author's note: Wow; I can't believe I'm starting to write within this fandom! And with erikabeebee too! SURPRISE! :D Our beta and one of my closest internet friends, gameboycolor, actually inspired me to start writing Glee fanfic after I read some of her works. I was too nervous to start on my own though, so I messaged erikabeebee since she had a similar writing style. We've been working on this for the past month or so and it's finally done! For the most part I wrote Blaine and she wrote Kurt, though we did add some stuff for the other character when needed. For our next fic (yes, we will be writing again!) we will switch roles in order to see who we each write better, so keep on the lookout! And Erika, I just want to say thank you. You are the Kurt to my Blaine (for this fic, we'll see if that changes XD), the Darren to my Chris, and I'm proud to call you my writing partner. Courtka for life! :D

erikabeebee's author's note: 1jennyfan came to me with the idea of collaborating a few months ago and I was automatically equal parts intrigued and nervous, but I'm so glad I accepted! Working with someone else has been a challenging experience, but it has also been so much fun! Not only did we put together our writing skills to create this story that we're both very proud of, but we became closer throughout the process. I'm so glad to now have a writing buddy, and also just an all around friend! I think I speak for both of us when I say that this won't be the last your hear from us. I hope you enjoy! :)

This wasn't how it was supposed to play out.

Kurt was directly in front of him, down on one knee, clutching a ring box in his slightly shaking hands. Both of them were recently out of college in New York; Blaine had just graduated in the past year, and Kurt was beginning his career as a costume designer. They lived separately, but close enough that they could still see each other. They had their own lives, but they made sure the other was in it. And Blaine was so grateful for that.

They had been together for almost seven years now. The couple had talked about marriage ever since it was allowed in the state. (Of course, they were talking "maybe, in the distant future, if we're still together" back then).

Blaine had wanted to take that last final step throughout college; hell, he even had a ring picked out. But he had to come up with excuses in his own head. For one, he had been so worried about Kurt. He didn't want to upset him in any way, didn't want to be too much or come on too strong. Plus he was afraid of asking too soon. After all, he knew for a fact the two of them worked best when they took things slow. But the honest truth was, he wasn't really sure he knew how to do this. This was important, this was for Kurt; it had to be perfect.

But he did know for certain – Kurt was the one.

And yet Kurt proposed to Blaine. He had very obviously planned it out, in his fantastic Kurt Hummel way. Blaine's place had been covered in scattered rose petals when he got home from work, candles were covering almost every available surface, soft music was playing, and there in front of him was Kurt, down on one knee, a nervous smile on his face. Blaine glanced behind him and finally noticed the large banner fastened across the wall separating his living room and kitchen. Scrawled in big, flowy letters were the words "Blaine Anderson, will you marry me?"

It was the definition of bittersweet. He had always had dreams of being proposed to, but after meeting Kurt, he knew he would have to get the guts to do it himself. Not that Kurt didn't have that strength (obviously, Blaine would be lost without Kurt's bravery), it's just that Kurt liked to be wooed, and Blaine knew that. And in the pit of his heart, he felt that Kurt deserved someone getting down on one knee for him; much more than himself.

He felt like a failure; at least, someone who definitely, definitely didn't deserve this. Courage. Hah.

Kurt could obviously see the trouble on his face. He visibly tensed, the shaking of his hands becoming more intense. His face paled and the nervous smile on his face fell, an expression that was a mixture of horror, confusion, and rejection replacing it.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked quietly, his voice shaky and tight. "Is it the candles? The roses? God, I knew the music was too much. You probably don't even like this song. And the banner… I was going to forgo the banner but then I decided to just go with it, and, god, I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry Blaine."

"No, NO." Blaine said fiercely. "Don't think you did anything wrong. The banner was my favorite part, actually." He chuckled, trying to lighten the situation. Kurt just wrung his hands and looked miserably at the floor, which made Blaine grow serious. "But really, this was perfect. This was just so you, and I loved it. These kind of things, you just being you; it's why I love you." He wasn't really sure how to get his true feelings about this out into words, which was unusual, considering he was talking to Kurt. "It's just…"

What was he supposed to tell him? I wanted you to have the perfect proposal, but I was too much of a coward to actually do anything about it? No. That would just be idiotic. Even with Kurt, it'd make him seem like a complete fool, and his first and best relationship of his life could be out the window.

"What is it Blaine?" Kurt asked gently, still looking tense and nervous but more concerned about Blaine at the moment. "You know that you can be honest with me. You can tell me anything."

Blaine visibly tensed, unsure of how to really tell Kurt this. "It's just…" he repeated, coming up with the words in his head before letting them out, because sometimes he forgot to do that and it just made him look really idiotic. "You shouldn't have done this."

Kurt's face fell, and before Blaine could explain himself, Kurt let out a watery sniff and said, "You're right. I'm sorry Blaine. I'll just... go."

No. NO! This is not what Blaine wanted to happen. He was so afraid this would happen. He always had to go and screw things up; it was just what he did. That's why he had Kurt, to pick up the pieces he left behind. And God, he couldn't lose him over some stupid misunderstanding.

"No, wait. Kurt, STOP!"

Kurt turned silently, the tears threatening to escape his eyes. Blaine ran to him and took his hands in his.

"Let me repeat: you did nothing wrong. Nothing." Blaine's throat closed up, making it unable for him to speak. Why the hell could he not talk about this? The two of them didn't need to sugar-coat things; they were straight-up and honest with each other. It's how they worked. They would be a mess without it. Besides, this was Kurt; the man he could tell anything, the man who understood him, the man he loved.

It reminded him of that moment six years ago, the one where Blaine kissed him for the first time. The minutes before though… there was no other way to describe them; they were pure terror. But he knew if he didn't take that leap, trust Kurt to catch him… who knows where they'd end up in the future. Who knows where they'd be now.

That gave him the courage to speak. "Kurt, it's not you, I promise. It's me. It's all me. I feel like I'm not good enough for you at times. I'm not the man you need. No," he said quickly when Kurt's eyes narrowed in confusion. There he goes again. Saying something stupid; making a fool of himself. He hopes his boyfriend still gets it. He stammers while trying to get back on track. "No, no, no, what I mean is… you don't need me. You don't need anyone. You're strong; you can handle yourself. But I wantthat for you; I want everything for you. You deserve so much, Kurt. And I'm not the person you should have, because… as much as I love you, as much as I want you, you deserve more than me. So much more. You're meant to shine, Kurt, and… I feel like I'm holding you back."

He took a deep breath, realizing his lungs ran out of air during that little speech of his. "Okay. That's all I've got." His feelings were out, in the open. He just hoped Kurt didn't hate him now for this.

The look on Kurt's face throughout Blaine's speech had slowly been ranging from confusion to disbelief. Just when Blaine thought that Kurt was getting ready to walk right out the door and never come back, he let out a short laugh. Blaine stared at him in disbelief. Had Kurt just… laughed?

"Blaine," Kurt said, shaking his head slowly. "Honey, I love you, but you've got this completely wrong. When I met you, I was going through life getting shoved and teased and bullied for who I was every single day. All I wanted, all that I really wanted, was to be loved. I wanted someone who would hold me and kiss me and be there for me when I needed them, but above all, I just wanted someone who would accept my love. You do that better than anyone else I've ever met. So you're wrong. You're exactly the person I need in my life. You're exactly who I want. And to be honest, not having you in my life would hold me back more than anything else because you make me want to be my very best, and, well… you make me want to shine. I love you Blaine. I need you as much as… air and water and my extremely high fashion clothes. That's why I asked you to marry me. Because I want you and need you in my life… forever."

Kurt stopped, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he stared at Blaine, waiting anxiously for his reaction. Blaine froze for a minute. He didn't expect this. Well, he expecting the extravagant delivery, but he didn't think Kurt would be this intense. "Kurt… are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes, Blaine. I don't think I would have set all this up if I wasn't certain," Kurt smirked, a few tears falling from the motion.

"Then…" Think, Blaine. THINK before you act!, he mentally screamed to himself. "…yes. I'll do it." Blaine nods his head quickly to confirm this. "Yes! I will be honored to marry you, Kurt." Because, after all, it was the truth.

The squeal that was ripped from Kurt's throat almost wasn't human but before either man could comment on it, Kurt jumped into Blaine's arms and squeezed him tightly, burying his face in his shoulder as a few tears leaked from his eyes and soaked into Blaine's shirt. Blaine would have been concerned but Kurt was also laughing, planting kiss after kiss on any area of skin that his lips could reach, repeatedly saying "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Blaine drank in every kiss his boyfriend, no wait, his fiance, was giving him, gripping onto him with everything he had. "I love you too, Kurt. God, I love you so much." He took Kurt's face tenderly in his hands and kissed him softly.

It's not that he didn't want this. It was the opposite; he wanted this so badly, and when Kurt kissed him deeper all objecting thoughts left his mind. Kurt wanted to love and be loved, Blaine wanted the same, with Kurt, and God was it beautiful. They were getting married.

He couldn't help but notice though, that when Kurt slid the ring onto his left ring finger, it looked very similar to the one that he had picked out for Kurt. It sent him into a spiral of guilt, but he said nothing.

"Now come on," Kurt said, his eyes blazing with heat and love and desire. "Let me show you just how much I love you."

Blaine let himself be dragged into his own bedroom, figuring he could tell Kurt how much he wanted this through his actions. The last thing he heard that night was the click of the lock, and the last thing he saw was the moonlight shining into the room. After that, he was consumed in nothing but Kurt.

Blaine hadn't realized he eventually had fallen asleep until he felt the soft sunlight filter through his window. He stirred, blinking his eyes open slowly, a yawn forcing his chest up and his mouth open. He stared up at the ceiling, a smile on his face as he remembered last night; Kurt proposing to him, his acceptance, their beautiful celebration… but something still felt just a little bit off.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and rolled over to cuddle up against the beautiful man he was going to marry, but was met with an empty bed. He frowned, thinking that Kurt had gotten up early and just gone home, but then he heard something coming from the kitchen. He sat up, suspicious, but soon a soft smile settled onto his face as he heard the sounds of Kurt's beautiful voice floating up to him. He was singing; Blaine couldn't make out what it was, but it didn't matter because it was beautiful. He got out of bed and slipped on a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt before heading downstairs, suddenly extremely excited to see the beautiful man waiting for him.

Kurt was standing over the stove, flipping pancakes and humming quietly to himself. Blaine smiled before creeping up on his boyfriend, no, fiancé, and wrapping his arms around him.

"Blaine!" Kurt screeched, jumping. "Gosh, you scared me!"

"Sorry honey," Blaine said with a chuckle, planting a kiss on the back of Kurt's neck. "You didn't have to go through all this trouble. I could have just made breakfast."

"I wanted to do something nice for you," Kurt explained with a smile before smacking Blaine with the spatula. "Now go sit down. It'll be ready in about ten minutes."

Breakfast passed by slowly, lazily. They stopped in the middle of every few bites for a quick kiss and often found themselves stopping and just staring at the other, so consumed with each other after the events of last night that they could barely concentrate on anything else.

When both plates were cleared, Kurt grabbed Blaine's hands.

"Now, I know it's early, and I just proposed last night, but I have been dreaming of planning a wedding ever since I was a little boy," Kurt positively gushed. "Now I'm thinking that…"

It's not that Blaine made a habit of not listening to his boyfriend; most of the time he just got so lost in his beautiful blue eyes or the soothing sound of his voice, but this morning a knot had taken place in the pit of Blaine's stomach. Every time he tuned into what Kurt was saying, the knot just got tighter, and tighter, and tighter until finally he abruptly stood up from the table.

"Um, hey, Kurt? Mind if I go upstairs for a bit?"

"Sure, honey," Kurt replied, a little startled, but he kissed his cheek as he left.

As soon as he reached his room, Blaine closed the door quickly but quietly, and slid down the door to his knees. Oh my God. It just became real to him; he was still in a phase from the day before. Kurt was serious about this. Blaine really needed to be, too.

Once he got his muscles to work again, he shakily moved to his bedroom dresser, opening the top drawer. On the top was his old Dalton uniform from high school. He wasn't quite sure why he even still had it. Maybe it was because it brought back memories; discovering himself, finding a group of people who liked him for who he was, eventually recovering his strength; meeting Kurt, who was now the love of his life.

He moved to the next layer: a collage he had worked on since the day he met Kurt, which he kept in his locker throughout high school. It basically was a visual representation of their relationship: a stick figure he made of Kurt from memory, the sheet music from their first duet, some unused gems from Pavarotti's casket, pressed flowers from proms and bouquets, pieces of the program to West Side Story, and so, so many photos…

But what Blaine treasured the most was the mini-collage Kurt gave him, with the pieces of a magazine sayingCourage. It was right before Kurt moved away to college, having to leave Blaine behind. "Take it," he remembers him saying, handing him the paper. "You'll need it more than I do. People are more accepting in New York than here." Right underneath it was his newest edition; in the only empty space left he had written "Kurt Hummel, will you marry me?" If only he had the "courage" to say it.

But now, he thought he did. He really thought he did, as he reached under the collage and grasped the ring box he hid there. Opening it, he compared it the one on his left ring finger. They were almost identical. It was like they were already married, in a way.

Blaine was numb for a second. He was doing this. He was finally going to do this. He didn't know why he was so nervous about it, though. Blaine knew what Kurt was going to say: yes. After all, he proposed first. He was still worried about looking completely foolish, though. Proposing after someone already proposed to you? Yeah, that sounded pretty stupid. But Blaine truly believed that his fiancé deserved everything that he'd already given to him, and that included being proposed to. Taking a deep breath, he closed the ring box, put it in his sweatpants, and headed downstairs.

"Kurt?"

Kurt looked up from the kitchen table where he had a magazine laid out in front of him. He smiled when he saw Blaine, but it slowly turned into a worried frown when he saw how nervous his fiancé looked.

"Kurt, about yesterday… I'm sorry." Kurt started to protest, but Blaine interrupted him. "No, no, it's not what you think. It's a good thing, I promise. At least, I think it is. God, I hope it is." He took a deep breath, the concentration in Kurt's face encouraging him to continue. "I meant it when I said you deserve everything. Including this." With that, he took out the ring box and dropped to his knee.

"Kurt, I know I was uncertain when I accepted your proposal. I said I'm not what you deserved. I realized what I meant, back there. I finally get it. You deserve someone brave; someone who will fight for you, be there for you, someone with the guts to get down on one knee and freaking do this. And I want to be that man; I want to be brave, for you, because I love you so much."

His hands were shaking; he could barely control himself. "…Kurt… I've wanted to propose to you for a long time, almost forever. I want to marry you. So badly. But if I do…" his mouth grew dry, so he opened the ring box. After a beat of silence, he finally forced his voice to work. "Kurt Hummel, will you marry me back?"

Kurt's mouth dropped open at the same time that his eyes filled with tears. The loved radiating from those same tear filled eyes blew Blaine away. Kurt was looking at him like he was the most important thing in entire world. Blaine would never get tired of being looked at like that.

"Blaine," Kurt said, his voice shaking with tears. He dropped down to his knees in front of Blaine, staring directly into his honey colored eyes. "Blaine, sweetheart, yes, yes, of course. Of course I'll marry you back. I love you so much." When Kurt held out his left hand to Blaine, the tears now streaming down his face, Blaine took the ring with his shaking hands and placed it on his ring finger.

Blaine couldn't take it. This was too much emotion, love, for him to bear. He grabbed his fiance' (yes; he felt free to say that now!) into his arms and crushed him against him, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Then he let Kurt hold him, just sobbing into his arms on the kitchen floor. "Oh my God, oh my God, Kurt… THANK YOU. I love you so, so much. More than words can say. Oh my God…"

He curled his face into the crook of Kurt's neck, resting between his head and shoulder. "I'm just so glad, so glad, that you didn't think that was stupid; that me proposing was stupid. Because I felt kind of stupid, at parts," he babbled.

"Blaine... Blaine, look at me," Kurt told him fiercely. Blaine reached his head up to Kurt's, who took his face in his palms. "Don't everthink that caring for me is stupid. Because this, when you do things like this… this is why I'm marrying you, Blaine." With that, Kurt kissed him, their tears mixing together.

It was hard to say how long they stayed on the floor, clutching onto each other, kissing, whispering their love for each other, but it didn't matter; the rest of the world didn't matter for these two men who were so deeply in love; who had just pledged themselves and their heart to the other, forever.


End file.
